"Had the price of looking been blindness, I would have looked." - Ralph Ellison

The Joke

Hello, my name is Brandon. I eat a lot and shit 4 times a day. Thank God I'm not gay, because my ass wouldn't be able to take anymore. 

- Yes, that's not the most PC introduction. But it follows with...

Imagine what it would be like to be a gay guy with severe stomach problems, which makes for severe asshole problems. It's the end of the day and you're horny and all you want is a penis to satisfy that horniness. What do you do? I mean, a female who's having a rough time with her vagina isn't just cramming a penis in it for pleasure. The female, while very horny, knows that she can't withstand the pain. 

The reason for this thought is because a gay friend of mine told me...

"It just happened," after he'd been sick with the flu and had not stopped going to the bathroom for a week. But the very first night of being free from the flu, ass still in moderate pain, he went home with a guy. 

I thought it was funny. 

Do you ever think how awesome our bodies are? We can heal from a cut within a week, heal from a major surgery in weeks and months, and we can use the bathroom whenever we need ... because our body tells us that's what we need to do. However, our bodies can be assholes too. Because we can use our penis to pee whenever we need to urinate but we have to work hard when we need to ejaculate. Why can't we just ejaculate at the same rate of peeing? 

***The italics are the joke.